The Secret, with its cool special effects and rapid-fire delivery, was an entertaining way to get people familiar with the Law of Attraction. The movie introduced many people from the mainstream to the vast powers we all have to create the life of our dreams. If you want to put those powers to work for you, though, you need to be aware of several crucial factors that go beyond where The Secret left off.
From guiding more than 20,000 people through the practical realities of putting manifestation to work in their lives, I’ve learned some very important Do’s and Don’t’s. There are a few things you can learn in an easeful way that others have had to learn “the hard way.” In particular, people often make two crucial mistakes that cause their manifestation process to go awry. I want to make sure you don’t make those mistakes.
The First Crucial Mistake, And How To Fix It
First, Open Your Heart
Unless you practice the Law of Attraction in a context of appreciation, your results will usually turn out upside-down and backwards from what you consciously intend. For example, if you try to manifest a new Maserati from a space of scarcity or entitlement or “I’ll show everybody how cool I am,” you probably won’t produce a new Maserati. Even if you do, it will come with a ton of scarcity and entitlement in the trunk.
The way to fix this problem is to start any manifestation process with a celebration of what you’re already grateful for. The universe loves gratitude, and will shower you with abundance if you create your new desires from a space of appreciation for what you already have.
Ongoing, the art of manifestation requires that we become manufacturers and distributors of appreciation, instead of consumers of it. Manufacturers and distributors know how to get things from the source. Consumers have to wait around for a delivery. Manufacturers and distributors of appreciation get to participate in the flow. Consumers are at the mercy of distributors and manufacturers. Their flow depends on deliveries from others.
In my unconscious days I tried to get people to love me, but they never seemed to do it right. I sought approval from people, but they never seemed to give it to me. The harder I tried to get love and approval, the less of it I seemed to get. Then, I realized what I was doing wrong: Because of various childhood issues, I’d gotten mired in the consumer role. I thought other people had the love and approval, and it was their job to give it to me. Boy, was I wrong! I was out of touch with how nature actually works. Imagine a gardener saying to a row of seeds, “First show me some vegetables, and then I’ll reward you by giving you some water!” It doesn’t work that way.
I stepped out of being a consumer and into the manufacturer and distributor role. Immediately my life changed. Instead of seeking approval, I thought up appreciations about the people in my life, and delivered those appreciations to them. They loved me back like never before. I beamed approval at the people I wanted approval from, and they beamed right back. I loved more, and got more love than I ever imagined. I celebrated the abundance I had, even if I only had a few dollars in my pocket, and the universe ultimately responded by making me a multi-millionaire.
The Second Crucial Mistake, And How To Fix It
Focus On Integrity
Unless you practice the Law of Attraction in a context of integrity, you will get results that are the opposite of what you consciously want.
Resonate with these two truths, both of which have been learned “the hard way” by many people:
Life flows easefully when we speak with impeccable honesty.
Life flows easefully when we keep our promises impeccably.
It took me well into my thirties to learn these simple truths. Having practiced them now for a couple of decades, I appreciate them even more than I did when I first discovered them. My life has flowed easefully since I began speaking honestly and keeping my agreements. On the occasions when it stopped flowing easefully, it’s always been because I didn’t speak honestly about something or didn’t keep some agreement I’d made. As soon as I spotted the lie or the broken promise and took steps to repair it, my life began to flow easefully again.
The moves are simple. First, speak honestly about your feelings. Say things like this:
When you’re angry, say “I’m angry.”
When you’re scared, say “I’m scared.”
When you appreciate someone, say “I appreciate you.”
In addition to speaking honestly about your feelings, take care to speak honestly about significant facts. Let’s say you’re Bill Clinton. If a reporter at a press conference asks you if you had sex with an intern named Monica, say “Yes.” It saves time and money. People will like you better, no matter how much you think they won’t. It never gets more complicated than that.
To enjoy a life that flowed easefully all the time, I had to ask myself tough questions such as: Where do I lie habitually? What do I lie about? What agreements do I tend to break? It took me several years of asking these questions before I discovered all my subtle ways of conning myself and others. As I asked the questions, though, I immediately began to reap a harvest of constantly unfolding miracles.
I discovered, for example, that I habitually lied about my feelings. In fact, I vividly remember lying about them in the first counseling class I took in graduate school. A man asked me what I was angry about in my life. I told him that I never got angry about anything. I went off on a lengthy justification of why anger was stupid and a waste of time. I still remember the look of pity on the man’s face as I prattled on. Looking back at this moment from the perspective of a lifetime’s learning about my feelings, I should have answered his question by saying “I’m angry at just about everything.” I was overweight, stuck in a job I hated and a new marriage that was already falling apart. My old programming—Keep everything hidden inside and don’t reveal what’s real at all costs—kept me from simply saying, “I’m angry about a lot of things.”
I’ve had the good fortune of meeting and spending time with the Dalai Lama on a number of occasions. In one conversation a member of the party asked him what kinds of things made him angry. Without a moment’s hesitation he listed a number of things, large and small, which he felt anger about. He also mentioned several things he felt scared and sad about. I remember marveling at the sound of his voice as he talked about those things: he had the same matter-of-factness and compassion toward his own feelings as he had when he spoke of universal suffering. I admire that greatly, and have attempted to practice that attitude in my own life.
Next Steps: Your Practice For The Week
Here’s a great way to jump-start the flow of appreciation and abundance in your life. If you do the following processes, I promise you’ll see powerful results in your life right away.
Think of an important person in your life, and generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about that person. Write your appreciations down.
Do the same thing for a second person, and a third.
Generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about the world in general.
Generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about yourself.
Speak those appreciations to the relevant people. Call, write or visit them in person to deliver your appreciations. For your appreciations about yourself, look yourself in the mirror and speak them. For appreciations about the world, speak them to anyone you come across as you move through the world. In the checkout line recently I said to the clerk, “I really appreciate how much faster these scanning cash registers are. Must be a lot easier than punching in every price.” She said, “I never thought about it before, but yes, I’m grateful for that, too.”
That’s all it takes. We change the world one communication at a time. These activities, done sincerely, open up a field of gratitude around you wherever you go. In that field of gratitude a garden of miracles will grow.
From the Attracting Genuine Abundance On-Line Course
The following is an excerpt from the “Attracting Genuine Abundance” on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.
John and Linda Ballis
Wheel of Life book
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